I know I haven't been doing much of my ambitious writings on the net for a couple of weeks (or more). I won't say i was busy with stuff, i will just paint it plainly I AM LAZY!!! Was that too much? Anyway....
I recently had a privilege of sitting down with a former colleague and have lunch at one of the best eateries in town and talked about him ( That was just his moment as a matter of fact). Thabiso Mamba aka Cliff Jr a Swazi Afro rap music artist.
' I have been in the music scene for quite a long time now in fact, the years have come to more or less than ten. The passion started way back even before I went to high school. We formed a group with a couple of my friends and brothers and called it M10'. Cliff Jr is so looking forward to the future and he confidently says that the sky is definitely not the limit for him. Determined to break all odds and be the best he can be, he attributes all his success to his family (His mother and father in particular).
' I would have not been here today if it wasn't for my folks. This has not been a bed of roses, especially because I still finance myself and do everything on my own. My parents have been there when I need them both financially and otherwise.
The conversation got a little bit serious and i asked about what he thinks about the local music industry. Cliff minced no words and declared his disappointment. ' Yes we are growing musically as Swazis but believe me you, it will take us a very long time to get to very high standards where our music will be appreciated internationally as-well. First of all its the supporters. Yes, people want to listen to good music and it is the musician's duty to take care of that but even so, people still prefer international artists and turn a blind eye on us here in Swaziland. We have very good musicians in Swaziland who travel the world through music but some Swazis don't even know about them. That is because people really do not care and that really makes us feel really bad as artists'
Throughout the whole conversation all I was longing for was for chance to ask about his name 'Cliff Jr'. ' Cliff is my father's name, Clifford in full. The apple did not fall far from the tree (if you know what I mean). I look a lot like my father and his friends end up calling me Cliff. Looking for a stage name has been a mission, at some point earlier in my music career i used T-Leazy, a name I got from my friends in high school at Salesian. Using part of my father's name was a way of honoring him for the great things he has done for me (including his support when everyone thought I was wasting time). A lot will think the Jr stands for 'junior' whereas it means a totally different thing. I like to be me when I do things (that's why if you listen to my music, it has a personal touch). The Jr means 'Just real.
I want to be real in all I do, I want to be different in all aspects. That is what my fans should expect from me.'
Asked on his future plans and who he has worked with, he mentioned a number of local artists including Double M 10, Motown Fam, Mr Currency,
Mr Kangaroo, Mvillas, Playkid, just to mention a few. He has performed
in a number of places within Swaziland, such as Game On Club, Club Babylon, Miss Cultural 2012, Matata Spar, AMICCAAL events, St Marks
& St Michaels schools' events, just to mention a few.
'The future looks bright and people should expect my debut album before the end of this year.'
For bookings, please contact:
thabisomamba@yahoo.com (email)
+268 76431748 (cell number)
Am I Talking To Someone?
Bringing you closer to life. 'Am I Talking To Someone' is a blog aimed at bringing you closer to real life situations, comment that is fair, interviews with people that will touch your life one way or the other. Do not lose lifetime opportunities by not frequenting this blog.
Sunday, 26 January 2014
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
An Eloquent speaker he is: President Barack Obama honours Madiba
To Graça Machel and the Mandela family; to President Zuma and members of the government; to heads of state and government, past and present; distinguished guests - it is a singular honor to be with you today, to celebrate a life unlike any other. To the people of South Africa - people of every race and walk of life - the world thanks you for sharing Nelson Mandela with us. His struggle was your struggle. His triumph was your triumph. Your dignity and hope found expression in his life, and your freedom, your democracy is his cherished legacy.
It is hard to eulogise any man - to capture in words not just the facts and the dates that make a life, but the essential truth of a person - their private joys and sorrows; the quiet moments and unique qualities that illuminate someone’s soul. How much harder to do so for a giant of history, who moved a nation toward justice, and in the process moved billions around the world.
Born during World War I, far from the corridors of power, a boy raised herding cattle and tutored by elders of his Thembu tribe - Madiba would emerge as the last great liberator of the 20th century. Like Gandhi, he would lead a resistance movement - a movement that at its start held little prospect of success. Like King, he would give potent voice to the claims of the oppressed, and the moral necessity of racial justice. He would endure a brutal imprisonment that began in the time of Kennedy and Khrushchev, and reached the final days of the Cold War. Emerging from prison, without force of arms, he would - like Lincoln - hold his country together when it threatened to break apart. Like America’s founding fathers, he would erect a constitutional order to preserve freedom for future generations - a commitment to democracy and rule of law ratified not only by his election, but by his willingness to step down from power.
Given the sweep of his life, and the adoration that he so rightly earned, it is tempting then to remember Nelson Mandela as an icon, smiling and serene, detached from the tawdry affairs of lesser men. But Madiba himself strongly resisted such a lifeless portrait. Instead, he insisted on sharing with us his doubts and fears; his miscalculations along with his victories. “I’m not a saint,” he said, “unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.”
It was precisely because he could admit to imperfection - because he could be so full of good humor, even mischief, despite the heavy burdens he carried - that we loved him so. He was not a bust made of marble; he was a man of flesh and blood - a son and husband, a father and a friend. That is why we learned so much from him; that is why we can learn from him still. For nothing he achieved was inevitable. In the arc of his life, we see a man who earned his place in history through struggle and shrewdness; persistence and faith. He tells us what’s possible not just in the pages of dusty history books, but in our own lives as well.
Mandela showed us the power of action; of taking risks on behalf of our ideals. Perhaps Madiba was right that he inherited, “a proud rebelliousness, a stubborn sense of fairness” from his father. Certainly he shared with millions of black and colored South Africans the anger born of, “a thousand slights, a thousand indignities, a thousand unremembered moments…a desire to fight the system that imprisoned my people.”
But like other early giants of the ANC - the Sisulus and Tambos - Madiba disciplined his anger; and channeled his desire to fight into organization, and platforms, and strategies for action, so men and women could stand-up for their god-given dignity. Moreover, he accepted the consequences of his actions, knowing that standing up to powerful interests and injustice carries a price. “I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination,” he said at his 1964 trial. “I’ve cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”
Mandela taught us the power of action, but also ideas; the importance of reason and arguments; the need to study not only those you agree with, but those who you don’t. He understood that ideas cannot be contained by prison walls, or extinguished by a sniper’s bullet. He turned his trial into an indictment of apartheid because of his eloquence and passion, but also his training as an advocate. He used decades in prison to sharpen his arguments, but also to spread his thirst for knowledge to others in the movement. And he learned the language and customs of his oppressor so that one day he might better convey to them how their own freedom depended upon his.
Mandela demonstrated that action and ideas are not enough; no matter how right, they must be chiseled into laws and institutions. He was practical, testing his beliefs against the hard surface of circumstance and history. On core principles he was unyielding, which is why he could rebuff offers of conditional release, reminding the Apartheid regime that, “prisoners cannot enter into contracts.” But as he showed in painstaking negotiations to transfer power and draft new laws, he was not afraid to compromise for the sake of a larger goal. And because he was not only a leader of a movement, but a skillful politician, the Constitution that emerged was worthy of this multiracial democracy; true to his vision of laws that protect minority as well as majority rights, and the precious freedoms of every South African.
Finally, Mandela understood the ties that bind the human spirit. There is a word in South Africa- Ubuntu - that describes his greatest gift: his recognition that we are all bound together in ways that can be invisible to the eye; that there is a oneness to humanity; that we achieve ourselves by sharing ourselves with others, and caring for those around us. We can never know how much of this was innate in him, or how much of was shaped and burnished in a dark, solitary cell. But we remember the gestures, large and small - introducing his jailors as honored guests at his inauguration; taking the pitch in a Springbok uniform; turning his family’s heartbreak into a call to confront HIV/AIDS - that revealed the depth of his empathy and understanding. He not only embodied Ubuntu; he taught millions to find that truth within themselves. It took a man like Madiba to free not just the prisoner, but the jailor as well; to show that you must trust others so that they may trust you; to teach that reconciliation is not a matter of ignoring a cruel past, but a means of confronting it with inclusion, generosity and truth. He changed laws, but also hearts.
For the people of South Africa, for those he inspired around the globe - Madiba’s passing is rightly a time of mourning, and a time to celebrate his heroic life. But I believe it should also prompt in each of us a time for self-reflection. With honesty, regardless of our station or circumstance, we must ask: how well have I applied his lessons in my own life?
It is a question I ask myself - as a man and as a President. We know that like South Africa, the United States had to overcome centuries of racial subjugation. As was true here, it took the sacrifice of countless people - known and unknown - to see the dawn of a new day. Michelle and I are the beneficiaries of that struggle. But in America and South Africa, and countries around the globe, we cannot allow our progress to cloud the fact that our work is not done. The struggles that follow the victory of formal equality and universal franchise may not be as filled with drama and moral clarity as those that came before, but they are no less important. For around the world today, we still see children suffering from hunger, and disease; run-down schools, and few prospects for the future. Around the world today, men and women are still imprisoned for their political beliefs; and are still persecuted for what they look like, or how they worship, or who they love.
We, too, must act on behalf of justice. We, too, must act on behalf of peace. There are too many of us who happily embrace Madiba’s legacy of racial reconciliation, but passionately resist even modest reforms that would challenge chronic poverty and growing inequality. There are too many leaders who claim solidarity with Madiba’s struggle for freedom, but do not tolerate dissent from their own people. And there are too many of us who stand on the sidelines, comfortable in complacency or cynicism when our voices must be heard.
The questions we face today - how to promote equality and justice; to uphold freedom and human rights; to end conflict and sectarian war - do not have easy answers. But there were no easy answers in front of that child in Qunu. Nelson Mandela reminds us that it always seems impossible until it is done. South Africa shows us that is true. South Africa shows us we can change. We can choose to live in a world defined not by our differences, but by our common hopes. We can choose a world defined not by conflict, but by peace and justice and opportunity.
We will never see the likes of Nelson Mandela again. But let me say to the young people of Africa, and young people around the world - you can make his life’s work your own. Over thirty years ago, while still a student, I learned of Mandela and the struggles in this land. It stirred something in me. It woke me up to my responsibilities - to others, and to myself - and set me on an improbable journey that finds me here today. And while I will always fall short of Madiba’s example, he makes me want to be better. He speaks to what is best inside us. After this great liberator is laid to rest; when we have returned to our cities and villages, and rejoined our daily routines, let us search then for his strength - for his largeness of spirit - somewhere inside ourselves. And when the night grows dark, when injustice weighs heavy on our hearts, or our best laid plans seem beyond our reach - think of Madiba, and the words that brought him comfort within the four walls of a cell:
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
What a great soul it was. We will miss him deeply. May God bless the memory of Nelson Mandela. May God bless the people of South Africa.
It is hard to eulogise any man - to capture in words not just the facts and the dates that make a life, but the essential truth of a person - their private joys and sorrows; the quiet moments and unique qualities that illuminate someone’s soul. How much harder to do so for a giant of history, who moved a nation toward justice, and in the process moved billions around the world.
Born during World War I, far from the corridors of power, a boy raised herding cattle and tutored by elders of his Thembu tribe - Madiba would emerge as the last great liberator of the 20th century. Like Gandhi, he would lead a resistance movement - a movement that at its start held little prospect of success. Like King, he would give potent voice to the claims of the oppressed, and the moral necessity of racial justice. He would endure a brutal imprisonment that began in the time of Kennedy and Khrushchev, and reached the final days of the Cold War. Emerging from prison, without force of arms, he would - like Lincoln - hold his country together when it threatened to break apart. Like America’s founding fathers, he would erect a constitutional order to preserve freedom for future generations - a commitment to democracy and rule of law ratified not only by his election, but by his willingness to step down from power.
Given the sweep of his life, and the adoration that he so rightly earned, it is tempting then to remember Nelson Mandela as an icon, smiling and serene, detached from the tawdry affairs of lesser men. But Madiba himself strongly resisted such a lifeless portrait. Instead, he insisted on sharing with us his doubts and fears; his miscalculations along with his victories. “I’m not a saint,” he said, “unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.”
It was precisely because he could admit to imperfection - because he could be so full of good humor, even mischief, despite the heavy burdens he carried - that we loved him so. He was not a bust made of marble; he was a man of flesh and blood - a son and husband, a father and a friend. That is why we learned so much from him; that is why we can learn from him still. For nothing he achieved was inevitable. In the arc of his life, we see a man who earned his place in history through struggle and shrewdness; persistence and faith. He tells us what’s possible not just in the pages of dusty history books, but in our own lives as well.
Mandela showed us the power of action; of taking risks on behalf of our ideals. Perhaps Madiba was right that he inherited, “a proud rebelliousness, a stubborn sense of fairness” from his father. Certainly he shared with millions of black and colored South Africans the anger born of, “a thousand slights, a thousand indignities, a thousand unremembered moments…a desire to fight the system that imprisoned my people.”
But like other early giants of the ANC - the Sisulus and Tambos - Madiba disciplined his anger; and channeled his desire to fight into organization, and platforms, and strategies for action, so men and women could stand-up for their god-given dignity. Moreover, he accepted the consequences of his actions, knowing that standing up to powerful interests and injustice carries a price. “I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination,” he said at his 1964 trial. “I’ve cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”
Mandela taught us the power of action, but also ideas; the importance of reason and arguments; the need to study not only those you agree with, but those who you don’t. He understood that ideas cannot be contained by prison walls, or extinguished by a sniper’s bullet. He turned his trial into an indictment of apartheid because of his eloquence and passion, but also his training as an advocate. He used decades in prison to sharpen his arguments, but also to spread his thirst for knowledge to others in the movement. And he learned the language and customs of his oppressor so that one day he might better convey to them how their own freedom depended upon his.
Mandela demonstrated that action and ideas are not enough; no matter how right, they must be chiseled into laws and institutions. He was practical, testing his beliefs against the hard surface of circumstance and history. On core principles he was unyielding, which is why he could rebuff offers of conditional release, reminding the Apartheid regime that, “prisoners cannot enter into contracts.” But as he showed in painstaking negotiations to transfer power and draft new laws, he was not afraid to compromise for the sake of a larger goal. And because he was not only a leader of a movement, but a skillful politician, the Constitution that emerged was worthy of this multiracial democracy; true to his vision of laws that protect minority as well as majority rights, and the precious freedoms of every South African.
Finally, Mandela understood the ties that bind the human spirit. There is a word in South Africa- Ubuntu - that describes his greatest gift: his recognition that we are all bound together in ways that can be invisible to the eye; that there is a oneness to humanity; that we achieve ourselves by sharing ourselves with others, and caring for those around us. We can never know how much of this was innate in him, or how much of was shaped and burnished in a dark, solitary cell. But we remember the gestures, large and small - introducing his jailors as honored guests at his inauguration; taking the pitch in a Springbok uniform; turning his family’s heartbreak into a call to confront HIV/AIDS - that revealed the depth of his empathy and understanding. He not only embodied Ubuntu; he taught millions to find that truth within themselves. It took a man like Madiba to free not just the prisoner, but the jailor as well; to show that you must trust others so that they may trust you; to teach that reconciliation is not a matter of ignoring a cruel past, but a means of confronting it with inclusion, generosity and truth. He changed laws, but also hearts.
For the people of South Africa, for those he inspired around the globe - Madiba’s passing is rightly a time of mourning, and a time to celebrate his heroic life. But I believe it should also prompt in each of us a time for self-reflection. With honesty, regardless of our station or circumstance, we must ask: how well have I applied his lessons in my own life?
It is a question I ask myself - as a man and as a President. We know that like South Africa, the United States had to overcome centuries of racial subjugation. As was true here, it took the sacrifice of countless people - known and unknown - to see the dawn of a new day. Michelle and I are the beneficiaries of that struggle. But in America and South Africa, and countries around the globe, we cannot allow our progress to cloud the fact that our work is not done. The struggles that follow the victory of formal equality and universal franchise may not be as filled with drama and moral clarity as those that came before, but they are no less important. For around the world today, we still see children suffering from hunger, and disease; run-down schools, and few prospects for the future. Around the world today, men and women are still imprisoned for their political beliefs; and are still persecuted for what they look like, or how they worship, or who they love.
We, too, must act on behalf of justice. We, too, must act on behalf of peace. There are too many of us who happily embrace Madiba’s legacy of racial reconciliation, but passionately resist even modest reforms that would challenge chronic poverty and growing inequality. There are too many leaders who claim solidarity with Madiba’s struggle for freedom, but do not tolerate dissent from their own people. And there are too many of us who stand on the sidelines, comfortable in complacency or cynicism when our voices must be heard.
The questions we face today - how to promote equality and justice; to uphold freedom and human rights; to end conflict and sectarian war - do not have easy answers. But there were no easy answers in front of that child in Qunu. Nelson Mandela reminds us that it always seems impossible until it is done. South Africa shows us that is true. South Africa shows us we can change. We can choose to live in a world defined not by our differences, but by our common hopes. We can choose a world defined not by conflict, but by peace and justice and opportunity.
We will never see the likes of Nelson Mandela again. But let me say to the young people of Africa, and young people around the world - you can make his life’s work your own. Over thirty years ago, while still a student, I learned of Mandela and the struggles in this land. It stirred something in me. It woke me up to my responsibilities - to others, and to myself - and set me on an improbable journey that finds me here today. And while I will always fall short of Madiba’s example, he makes me want to be better. He speaks to what is best inside us. After this great liberator is laid to rest; when we have returned to our cities and villages, and rejoined our daily routines, let us search then for his strength - for his largeness of spirit - somewhere inside ourselves. And when the night grows dark, when injustice weighs heavy on our hearts, or our best laid plans seem beyond our reach - think of Madiba, and the words that brought him comfort within the four walls of a cell:
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
What a great soul it was. We will miss him deeply. May God bless the memory of Nelson Mandela. May God bless the people of South Africa.
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
Grab a chair, take a seat and think about your future career.
It has been 2 years since I finished school and it is periods like these that really get me worried. It is the examination period in the country and it is when we see if going to school and seriously learning really meant a thing to some.
I hate saying this but I personally hate examinations. The reason I get worried however is a result of the memories that come back from the time when i finished school, and the mistakes I have made when choosing a career. I really wish that the outgoing form 5s could have very well planned and conducted career guidance lectures.
It is true some have already had them, but my worry is if they were conducted properly. It could be very effective if this was to be done again after the results are out (well, I'm saying this through experience- It is a great teacher, remember?). According to my own experience, you go into the examination room in high spirits and courage (especially if you studied effectively), not knowing about the traumatic questions you may meet in there and that may mess up with your performance and end up affecting your results.
This is where my worry comes in then : What on earth can you do with messed up results except going back to restart high school ?
Smart
I have always been this smart kid from a very tender age (and I really mean it). By smart I do not mean studying and preparing well for my exams or managing my time well to pass the exam, but I mean getting done with school (for that particular day) and going home to watch TV, then straight to bed. I still managed to be at the top of my game with that 'routine'.
life was so great (as I saw it) and nothing really bothered me. Obviously, being smart meant proceeding to the next grade which needed more work and attention but I guess I was 'too smart' to realize that.
It was not until I realized that I was already at everybody's level in class (something that was very hard to believe). I would be called in front of the class with an average mark just like everyone else who played games like me. Going to bed having not read at least 5 pages of my note book before a test meant flunking. Reality struck!! I passed my Junior Certificate level with 'good' grades and proceeded to the real test in school life, High School.
Dream Career
I have always wanted to be a journalist. i seriously could not imagine life without it ( I still cannot). At a very tender age I would dream about interviews with the big shots of this lifetime. Presidents, Kings, Queens and business people. I have always been a book worm, a short story writer and an imaginary reporter (yeah! CRAZY, I know). I would (I still do) create scenarios in my mind and write reports about them. Reading and writing has always been a part of me.
I wrote my SGCSE (form 5) and got good grades that could allow me to a couple of universities and colleges around the country. Yes, I applied for my dream career and got accepted but was denied scholarship. Guess what!! my mind took a spin and it stopped working for a second, I could not think well at all.
'How on earth was I not awarded the scholarship?' I asked myself.
The fear of being laughed at by former school mates who thought of me as this guy who 'knew it all' struck me! I could not afford to take a gap year, I could not afford to just sit at home while time passed by. It is for that reason I took off to a local college where I applied for a course on the last day of applications.This goes back to what i mentioned earlier on: career guidance and counseling should be easily available even after the results come out so that school leavers will be told about possible situations afterwards.
I was admitted to study Human Resource Management. To be honest, I did not like it at first (Not sure if I do now) but then I realized its importance and need nowadays in society, but that does not cover up for the blunder I made.
Yes! I should have taken a gap year and appealed to the scholarship board and did my passion, journalism. I am finishing my diploma in HR next year and definitely starting what I love more.
What exactly am i trying to say here? Done with your exams? Grab a chair, take a seat and think before you act. Do not compromise what you want with what you think will help you fix your mistakes. Good things come to those who wait, remember?
I rest my case.....
Friday, 11 October 2013
The day of the girl child; let's honour it.
So today is such a very important day in the local and international calendar? How on eareth would i have forgotten such a very important day (for important people)?
These are the very same young girls who grow up and be everyone's pillar of strength, source of life and care-takers. Imagine a world without the female figure (of course it is NOT possible). It is for that reason we ought to give them credit.
I would not like to write about the difficulties they go through each and every day. I mean the rape (even by senior male members of their families), the abuse and the privileges they are deprived of, just because they are girls. That really touches my soul, I must say.
We have heard about stories of girls who were raped by their fathers while the mothers were working extra hours trying to get money to put food on the table (and how touching can that be?). As always, the fathers would threaten the poor souls with death not to dare tell anyone about the occurrence(s).
I mean, who on planet earth would have the chutzpah to slip into bed with his own daughter? Unbelievable I know. It really shows the hard times we are living in.
Can we not hear of any creepy stories about our precious sisters anymore (at least for today) and just honor them and give them the credit they deserve. I pray for a better world, I pray for a better environment, I pray for equal opportunities for our sisters.
No Way Out
He came into my life
when I was just a little girl
I was happy and young
And then he changed my world
One night I was in bed
And he came to say goodnight
except he took a little longer
before he turned out the light
He really hurt me that night
And I didn't know what to do
I thought it happened to most
well every little boy and girl
I lay in bed that night
Hurting inside and out
tears streaming down my face
I tried hard not to shout out
I put that tragic night
to the back of my head
playing games at school
there was nothing to be said
A year had passed along
and then it happened again
My mum was out at work
it was him and me again
I was sat next to him
just watching the TV
when he pulled me close to him
and again molested me
I thought it only happened once
When I had done something bad
but now I knew I was wrong
I felt alone and sad
And 8 years on I got
the courage to tell someone
the police got involved and stuff
I was hated by my mum
she kicked me out that day
and stuck right by his side
saying I was attention seeking
and that it was all lies
so in the end it got too much
and I told the police I lied
everything went back to normal
I swear I wish I'd died
everything was going well
until he sent me those texts
saying he would kill himself
it was all my fault instead
so I went back to the police
and told them it all again
he's moved out for now
its investigating time again
but my mum still hates me
and thinks its all a lie
I feel so alone right now
I wish I would just die
I've told a couple of friends
but its hard for them you see
to put up with something as stupid
as a teenager like me
all I do is mope and cry
because no-one understands
what I feel inside each day
please someone take my hand
I cut myself sometimes
When the pain gets too much
I hate him for what he did
and where he used to touch
I often think I'll run away
or step into the road
my future seems so black and dim
I'm only 17 years old
And if the case is dropped
he will come back home again
and I'll be back to where I began
In a world of sadness and pain
I hope someone hears my cry
and says they understand
I just don't know what to do anymore
I'm scared and on my own
So you see I'm stuck forever
I just want to scream and shout
But there's something you have to know
That for me, there's no way out.
when I was just a little girl
I was happy and young
And then he changed my world
One night I was in bed
And he came to say goodnight
except he took a little longer
before he turned out the light
He really hurt me that night
And I didn't know what to do
I thought it happened to most
well every little boy and girl
I lay in bed that night
Hurting inside and out
tears streaming down my face
I tried hard not to shout out
I put that tragic night
to the back of my head
playing games at school
there was nothing to be said
A year had passed along
and then it happened again
My mum was out at work
it was him and me again
I was sat next to him
just watching the TV
when he pulled me close to him
and again molested me
I thought it only happened once
When I had done something bad
but now I knew I was wrong
I felt alone and sad
And 8 years on I got
the courage to tell someone
the police got involved and stuff
I was hated by my mum
she kicked me out that day
and stuck right by his side
saying I was attention seeking
and that it was all lies
so in the end it got too much
and I told the police I lied
everything went back to normal
I swear I wish I'd died
everything was going well
until he sent me those texts
saying he would kill himself
it was all my fault instead
so I went back to the police
and told them it all again
he's moved out for now
its investigating time again
but my mum still hates me
and thinks its all a lie
I feel so alone right now
I wish I would just die
I've told a couple of friends
but its hard for them you see
to put up with something as stupid
as a teenager like me
all I do is mope and cry
because no-one understands
what I feel inside each day
please someone take my hand
I cut myself sometimes
When the pain gets too much
I hate him for what he did
and where he used to touch
I often think I'll run away
or step into the road
my future seems so black and dim
I'm only 17 years old
And if the case is dropped
he will come back home again
and I'll be back to where I began
In a world of sadness and pain
I hope someone hears my cry
and says they understand
I just don't know what to do anymore
I'm scared and on my own
So you see I'm stuck forever
I just want to scream and shout
But there's something you have to know
That for me, there's no way out.
By Louise
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